Past Sins
by x deadlypastaaa
Summary: The past changes you forever. As you move forward, you build your hopes and dreams, yet the remnants of your past life remain.


_Hey guys. Sorry I haven't posted for a while, I just fell out of inspiration and motivation I guess. Meaning, my other stories are on hold for now. But aside from a one-month vacation in the summer, hopefully I'll be posting a lot more often for the next few months :)._

 _So this oneshot is more on the angsty side, a lot has happened lately and I need to dump my feelings somewhere. I chose Korea (upon checking after I wrote it he actually represents only South Korea, but seeing as there's only one Korea for now, he's representing both North and South Korea in the meantime) because I don't hear about his character as much as the other nations, but he is an interesting character. Please read and review! :)_

 **Past Sins**

The past changes you forever, before you were, before destiny was handed to you, before this life was handed to you. Memories of your past fate swirl just beyond your reach, or perhaps they were fabrications woven by broken minds, wandering souls and fading consciousness.

Korea believes that before he was where he is now, he had another life. Another chance wasted, but at the same time well spent. The memories of your past self affect you subconsciously, your instinct actually a forgotten lesson learned. And there are some things he might remember. The memories and images are faded like a photograph, but the raw and powerful emotion is your last thread telling you to _hold on,_ that something happened to you that changes you forevermore. He laughs because he didn't know how, smiles to make up for all the ones that could've been but weren't because that chance was taken from him in his other life. Or maybe he has it all wrong. He cries because he never pitied anyone, feels too much because he was blinded by his pride before, goes unnoticed by the world now because the world was sick of him before. Before Korea, before he was a nation, before he felt the pain of his people tenfold- _before,_ when he was Yong Soo.

Yong Soo, his past self, in the life before this, was a human. A human that could _feel_ and _touch_ and _cry_ and _hold, hold on_ to the people he loved. Or maybe, when Yong Soo became Korea, he lost the people he loved. Perhaps that is why Korea is so clingy, desperately holding on for he did not hold on tightly enough before, losing everything and left alone in the dark, because he thought they cared but they didn't.

To this day, Korea does not know the extent of which Yong Soo has shaped him, but as he continues bearing his name he also bears his burdens, and the deepest parts of his soul. These are the only parts of Yong Soo that remained when he and the spirit of Korea's people became unified. The bridge between Yong Soo and becoming a nation was erased from memory, yet Korea has retained his deepest fears, though he knows not their reasons. Maybe Korea is afraid of fire, for Yong Soo met a fiery death and never wanted to go back. Or maybe Yong Soo never died at all-maybe he was schizophrenic, his mind tortured and his greatest enemy being himself, until it grew greater. Now he is still torn, but feels both the physical and emotional pain tenfold, for he represents Korea as a whole, and the constant tumult between North and South matching the malice of his own conscience.

What did he do to deserve being a nation? It was both the world's greatest burden and blessing, balancing both the challenges of the few remaining fragments of Yong Soo and the wishes of all the citizens of his beloved land, all of his men, women and children's aspirations, fears and desires, all of these threaded together to form the intricate mosaic that was him. Korea was an honest human, yet not quite; he was an endless collection of souls, he knew all, yet he knew none. This life, he often thought, was the universe's greatest paradox.

People are incredibly quick to judge when they have only barely scratched the surface. Others think Korea is too much, knows nothing and cares little, but here he is, a philosopher who cries himself to sleep as he feels himself being ripped apart.

What fate did Yong Soo meet? Only he has the power to know, but Korea doesn't. The very embodiment of his people's souls is his very life force, and he bears all their burdens. The sins, of past, present and future, are ingrained into his being as he struggles quietly with his faults and failures. As Korea lies, the jagged scar running down the center of his body, the scars concealed behind white robes, symbolizing the true peace and innocence that will never be known in this life but perhaps the next, the wounds open anew. And bearing his past sins, he moves forward with a smile.


End file.
